>>56259406>because my self esteem is too fucked
That IS the problem, anon
getting a magical pixie GF doesn't drag you out of your self esteem problems, AT ALL
I know, because I got a GF with huge self esteem issues, and like literally everyone else will tell you, it doesn't fix it. AT ALL.
You get a GF, what happens? You don't become happy. You become jealous. Why is she smiling and laughing and moving her hair behind her ear when talking to that guy? He's her friend? I don't like this. She can't have friends like this.
Wait, I thought she didn't like spicy food, but one of her friends just brought her some orange chicken with peppers?
What are her GFs and her talking about? Are they talking about penis sizes of their boyfriends? Is she telling them about how I couldn't get it up that one time? Oh god
Why is she hanging out with guys? She's not allowed to do that
And then you start controlling her. You start demanding, you start being spiteful, and you start fighting. You switch from feeling you are a terrible person to being on thin-ice-anxiety that she will leave you, that she's fucking other guys, that she's happier with other people
You will not change for the better with a GF. You have to change before hand.